Creating Peace with the Divine Masculine

What is really Kenough?

Spoiler Alert: If you are the rare person that has not watched this film before me, and you plan on watching, do not read further if you don't want it spoiled for you.

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Last Saturday was movie night, and I noticed that the Barbie movie had just come out on Netflix. Even though I had posted a scene from it on Women's Day, I hadn’t actually watched the full film. I figured it was time to change that and give it an honest viewing.

The Verdict

It was… okay. I appreciated the nostalgia of the Barbie universe, the cinematography, and the artistry. I found myself really engaged when the Barbies and the humans worked together to snap the other Barbies out of the fog of patriarchy. That, to me, is the kind of feminism I resonate with—empowering women to remember their strengths.

But I expected the ending to take a different turn, and this is where feminism sometimes loses me. Ken’s song really struck a chord. It felt like an anthem for the boys and men out there struggling to find their place in a world that often confuses them—especially in the dating scene, where modern dynamics can feel like a minefield. And this isn’t about shaming women; I’ve been guilty of this too. When I was younger, my ambitions and the direction of my life often took priority over the person I was with.

The Kens: More Than Just Accessories

In Barbieland, the Kens were treated as second-class citizens—mere goofy accessories. I had hoped that Barbie would eventually recognize Ken’s beauty, especially after his song, "I'm Just Ken", because, in that moment, Ryan Gosling made him real. He was honest, vulnerable, and strong. Here is a clip of the masterpiece that made the movie in my opinion:

Doesn't seem to matter what I do

I'm always number two

No one knows how hard I tried, oh-oh, I

I have feelings that I can't explain

Drivin' me insane

All my life, been so polite

But I'll sleep alone tonight

'Cause I'm just Ken, anywhere else I'd be a ten

Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility?

I'm just Ken

Where I see love, she sees a friend

What will it take for her to see the man behind the tan and fight for me?

I wanna know what's like to love, to be the real thing

Is it a crime? Am I not hot when I'm in my feelings?

And is my moment finally here, or am I dreaming?

I'm no dreamer

Can you feel the Kenergy?

Feels so real, my Kenergy

Can you feel the Kenergy?

Feels so real, my Kenergy

I'm just Ken, anywhere else I'd be a ten

Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility?

I'm just Ken

Where I see love, she sees a friend

What will it take for her to see the man behind the tan and fight for me?

I'm just Ken (and I'm enough)

And I'm great at doing stuff

So, hey, check me out, yeah, I'm just Ken

My name's Ken (and so am I)

Put that manly hand in mine

So, hey, world, check me out, yeah, I'm just Ken

Baby, I'm just Ken (nobody else, nobody else)

When I watched this, I felt so much for Ken: him admitting that "It doesn't matter what I do, I'm always number 2. No one knows how hard I tried", "I have feelings I can't explain, Driving me insane", and, "I want to know what it's like to love, to be the real thing. Is it a crime? Am I not hot when I'm in the my feelings?". I admit, that last line made me crack up, but then I immediately felt bad - I mean, it's funny when Ryan Gosling is singing it, but how many guys actually feel this way? Watching this for the first time, I genuinely thought Barbie was going to see through the facade and see Ken for who is really is, and bring that out of him, but the movie took a different turn.

She admitted that she had taken him for granted. But then, when Ken leaned in for a kiss, she recoiled in disgust. Instead of ruling Barbieland together as equals, Barbie chose to leave it all behind to become mortal on Earth. Talk about an ego-crushing moment for Ken.

The last image of Ken—wearing his “I’m Kenough” sweater, looking lost and dejected—stayed with me. He barely manages a weak “Thanks, Barbie” before she steps into her new life.

What Message Are We Sending?

I understand—Barbie didn’t feel that way about Ken. Maybe it’s because they didn’t have “genitals,” as she pointed out, or maybe she genuinely never saw him that way. Perhaps the film's message to young girls is to prioritize their own lives, passions, and purpose rather than centering their existence around boys. And while I respect that sentiment, it leads me to wonder:

Where does that leave the boys? How do they transition into manhood? And what does Barbieland teach girls about the boys in their lives?

Yes, Barbie’s world was never meant to revolve around Ken, but now that it has been adapted into a movie, Ken has become a symbol for all the boys and men who love the women in their lives—only to feel that love isn’t reciprocated in the same way. The film subtly reinforces this dynamic.

All the male figures in this movie are either the bumbling Kens, the controlling boardroom executives who want to put Barbie back in the box, or the husband of Barbie’s human, who gets a single second of screen time. When his daughter suggests calling him to let him know they’re leaving for Barbieland, the girls simply laugh it off.

In my mind, Barbie would have realized how her treatment of Ken pushed him toward embracing patriarchy in the first place. His need for validation and identity led him to corrupt Barbieland. And that made me think about the young boys in our society today—those who feel rejected by their peers, families, social media, and even the girls they admire.

A Missing Conversation

No, it’s not a woman’s responsibility to pour energy into someone she doesn’t want to, but when do we start teaching girls the power of pouring love into someone? When do we show them that believing in someone, seeing their potential, and holding them to higher standards can help both individuals grow together, not apart?

When do we teach girls about Divine Union and how mutual growth can elevate both people? Right now, so much media glorifies girl power, but it often does so by portraying women as independent and self-sufficient to the point of not needing anyone at all.

Is it any wonder that male suicide rates are rising?

If we truly want a balanced future, we need to move beyond this one-sided narrative and teach our youth—both boys and girls—that our differences aren’t barriers. They’re what make the world richer, more vibrant, and whole.