That Tantric Love

The Call for Tantra in Modern Times

During Superman Week, I shared a couple of clips from Smallville to show the type of love I believe is Tantric - the love between Clark and Lois portrayed in the show. There was one clip in particular where I can see how without watching the show and understanding the context of their relationship or their characters individually, one may watch that clip and cringe at the way Lois looks at Clark and says "I'll do anything for you."

I can see how, without the full context of the show, some viewers — especially those steeped in modern independent narratives — might cringe at Lois seemingly submissive. It could seem like she’s losing herself. But if you watched the series and the build-up of their relationship (both as friends then finally as lovers), you would know that Lois was an extremely strong and fiercely independent woman, sometimes even to a fault. Heck, if Lois' younger-self watched her future-self, she would probably cringe too.

But here’s the thing: Lois didn’t fall for Clark just to be in love — she loved the man he was. She saw his sacrifices, the way he constantly put others before himself, and recognized the hero in him long before the cape. She felt honoured to walk beside him, not as a sidekick, but as a pillar of strength. She believed in his mission, trusted his intentions, and most of all, she believed in him. She became his fiercest supporter — not because she needed someone to follow, but because she found purpose in that kind of partnership.

Being with Clark wasn’t just about romance — it gave her direction. As Clark committed his life to saving the world, Lois committed hers to standing by his side. And as the show makes clear: Clark couldn’t have become Superman without her.

Lois fell in love with her friend, Clark, even before she discovered that he was the hero she followed. Their love was very much a slow burn, and it showed that she fell in love with the man he was, not the powers that he secretly held. A scene that ALWAYS makes me cry is when she is forced to admit her feelings - in this scene, both Lois and Clark were investigating a man that was kidnapping engaged couples and testing them to make sure they truly loved each other. Lois and Clark pretended to be a couple in order to get the story, and were so convincing that they ended up being captured by the man, who then started to grill them about their relationship. Again, endless kudos to Erica Durance for her portrayal of Lois, because this scene is so compelling- you can feel her struggle, her pain in watching Clark being tortured, and her own internal torture as she was forced to face the truth about her feelings:

She wasn’t in love with some fantasy - she was in love with him. With his integrity. With the way he carried pain quietly, shouldering burdens without asking for applause. With the way he moved through the world — not as Superman, but as Clark: the man who showed up.

And that’s what made it real.

Because true love isn’t about falling for someone’s highlight reel—It’s about seeing them at their most human,and still choosing to stay.

To me, that’s Tantra. Not just touch, or sex, or desire —but the willingness to merge energetically with someone’s mission, and making the conscious choice to be a part of their life. To open your field and say: I see where you’re going. I feel it in my bones. Let me walk beside you, barefoot and bold.

Tantra is choosing to love someone as their best self, and pulling that out as much as possible. Not just accept their shadows, but to alchemize with them. To hold their ache with reverence — and still whisper, “I believe in you.”

It’s not about performing love, but rather, about becoming love — the kind that strengthens, sharpens, and sanctifies.The kind that says, “I will not distract you from your path — I will only deepen your connection to it."

And to me, that's never a weakness - that’s sacred devotion that deepens both partners when it's coming from a place of genuine commitment.

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Last week, I talked about how the world isn't getting darker — it's just that the darkness is being exposed, and nowhere is that more obvious than in the things that go viral. Take the now-infamous kiss cam moment at the Coldplay concert. I honestly tried to avoid writing about it — but maybe it’s gone viral because it’s meant to be looked at. Maybe it’s the Universe saying: "Hey, pay attention to this. Because this isn't just gossip - it's a mirror." A reflection of where modern relationships are headed, and how culture is reshaping what we accept, expect, and excuse.

Infidelity isn’t new, it’s just becoming harder to hide. And with relationships under the microscope of public opinion, we’re being called to reflect on what we really believe about love, commitment, and what we allow ourselves (and others) to get away with.

Because infidelity has been so rampant throughout history, there’s been a growing shift toward polyamorous relationships and non-committal lifestyles — often backed by the idea that men are simply wired to be with multiple women, and that monogamy goes against their nature.

But is that really the truth? Or are we just giving men a pass — allowing them to avoid the deeper work of commitment, growth, and emotional maturity?

And it makes you wonder: why do people cheat? And what makes for a truly sustainable relationship?

To be completely honest, in my younger years, I rationalized it for myself. I was convinced my boyfriend at the time was doing it too — so in some twisted way, it felt justified. Since then, I’ve spoken to others who also shared that same motive: a kind of self-protection disguised as retaliation.

We are, all of us, human — flawed, reactive, and shaped by the wounds we carry. But it makes me ask the bigger question: Can a relationship like Lois and Clark’s in Smallville truly exist in our world? A love that’s built on truth, mutual respect, and a mission greater than the self and our own desires and pleasure?

If we want that kind of partnership to be real, then we have to raise people who hold the same values — who are raised to see love not as possession, but as purpose. Not as validation, but as true partnership.

One thing I always found fascinating about Lois and Clark is that they worked together — they shared the same mission. Their partnership wasn’t just romantic; it was purpose-driven. They saw each other in action every day. They faced the same challenges, supported each other under pressure, and were inspired by one another’s strengths.

In contrast, most modern couples spend the majority of their day apart — in different work environments, with different teams, different routines, different values. And over time, the person who sees you light up at work, who witnesses your talent, your passion, your humour under pressure — isn’t your partner, but your coworker.

That’s likely one of the reasons why workplace affairs are so common. It’s not always about intention — it’s about proximity. It's about being seen and supported in your zone of genius by someone who understands the rhythm of your day.

Which brings me back to that viral Coldplay kiss cam moment. Whether we like it or not, it wasn’t just drama — it felt real. It looked like two people who had affection, who understood each other. And the plot twist? They were coworkers.

There was a connection there — however controversial — that likely built slowly over time through shared purpose and proximity.

This isn’t to excuse their actions or behaviour. I still believe the man should take responsibility for his choices rather than deflect blame by suing the band for exposing him. But I wanted to shed light on the flawed humanness within him — and in all of us.

They were chosen for the kiss cam because they looked like they were genuinely in love. And perhaps that love wasn’t just based on forbidden fruit, but on witnessing each other in their element every day — doing what they love, being seen, and being supported.

And maybe that’s what so many of us are truly longing for — not just love, but aligned love. A partner who understands your mission. Who doesn’t just love you, but loves what you’re here to do.

We idolize Lois and Clark because they didn’t just fall in love — they rose in love, side by side. And maybe the key to relationships that last isn’t just chemistry... but shared values, shared time, and shared purpose.

True Tantric Lovers genuinely feel both the joy and pain of their partners. When they betray their partner’s trust or act outside the sacred container of their union, they are ultimately betraying themselves — because they made a conscious commitment to merge their lives, energy, and intentions for however long that partnership is meant to last.

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Maybe the future of love isn’t just about finding someone who makes your heart skip a beat. Maybe it’s about finding someone who sees your mission, believes in it, and wants to build something with you.

Imagine a world where relationships aren't built on convenience, but on expansion. Where intimacy isn’t just about physical closeness, but about shared dreams, shared values, shared impact.

What if the deepest form of foreplay is co-creating a life that matters?

That’s the kind of love I believe in for the future. The kind that looks like Lois and Clark.

Not because it’s picture perfect - but because it’s purposeful.

A love that sees the divine in each other,strengthens each other’s path,and becomes a safe place to land after doing the work we’re called to do in the world.

This is the vision I hold — not just for myself, but for all of us who are brave enough to love deeper, clearer, and with more intention.

For whatever reason, Atlas generated the following questions and answers without me asking for them - it made me chuckle, but also, I agree with him lol.

How can I attract a mission-aligned partner if I’m still figuring out my own purpose?

Start by deepening your own path — not perfecting it. A mission-aligned partner often shows up when you're living authentically, not when you have all the answers. The more you commit to what lights you up, the more you'll naturally attract people who resonate with that energy.

What if I feel more spiritually or emotionally advanced than the people I’m dating?

That’s a valid and common experience. Rather than dimming your light, raise your standards — not out of ego, but alignment. Trust that someone is out there walking a parallel path, also longing for a partner who meets them on a soul and mission level.

Can a mission-aligned love still be passionate, fun, and sexy — or is it all just serious work?

Absolutely, and in fact, it’s often even more passionate. When your love is rooted in shared purpose, the intimacy becomes multidimensional. It’s not just physical — it’s energetic, intellectual, and spiritual. That depth creates an electric kind of passion that surface-level flings can’t touch. - On a personal note: this has been my experience. When I felt this type of love with a man, I watched myself become a better lover with each experience. As I fell deeper in love, as we gained more trust and comfort within each other, as I started to see the very best in my partner, it would allow me to surrender more deeply to how my body just reacted to his. There were moments where we would both pause, almost in disbelief and in joy, screaming, “This… this is what making love really is!”

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To close off this post, here is a random Coldplay song:

P.S. I know I reference Smallville quite a bit — but as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been working on a course inspired by the show for a long time now. Writing these posts is helping me weave all the pieces together. Who knows — maybe one day I’ll send it to the cast to let them know just how deeply they’ve impacted me. 😜🥰